your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
