It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
