im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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