yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
