New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I cut my penus on the lid.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
