In the future we'll all be gay
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
