That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
this just has baby written all over it
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
