I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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