THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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