Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
