My hand turned me down
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
