mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize