how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
