I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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