well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
