So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize