dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
