There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
