that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
i think i have two assholes
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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