Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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