he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
