Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
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