just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
