So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
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