Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
