if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Your penis caused this!
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
