Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
