her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
