I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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