He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Randomize
