Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
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