no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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