R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
