two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
