Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
