i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
