just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
