I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
