Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize