so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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