bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
