I wish I only lived at night.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
She told me I should be a condom model.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
