if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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