Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Randomize
