Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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