You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
