Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
