i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Randomize
