whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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