Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
