My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
