it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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