Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
