hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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