omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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