Ambien. No doubt about it.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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