Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Randomize
