thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
