ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize