If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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