Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize