I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
