The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize