how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
