How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
