So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
