the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Randomize
