How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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