i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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