so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
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