Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
