I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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