did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
