Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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