guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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