I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
i believe in u and ur pee
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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