I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
