I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
