I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
did i walk over a car last night?
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
