Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I need moral support for this bender
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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