i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
time to smoke my breakfast
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
