brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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