All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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