Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Randomize
